Moving on
Well, it's been a ridiculous amount of time since I wrote anything on here.  I feel I should let you know, should anyone wonder, that I do have a current blog that I keep posting on about 3 or more times a week at  So if anyone wants to take a gander and follow me there, I'd love to catch up with you again.  I miss a lot of the people from here but....  well....I can only do so much.  Won't you visit me?

PiBoIdMo & Feeling Inspired!

I'm feeling super inspired by PiBoIdMo.  It has come at such a good time for me.  I already have 5 ideas written down and I've been inspired to open up that cupboard in the sitting room that I have ignored for so long - the one full of past manuscripts, notes from SCBWI conferences, binders from writing classes, etc.  Wow.  I had forgotten about some of the Picture Book manuscripts I had started working on.  I'm sure reading over them will give me new ideas now and I may be able to have a better, less emotionally attatched, perspective in order to do some better revisions.  I have been posting quite a bit over at wordpress.
I am really happy to be back in the swing of things.  A little hard pressed for time.  I really need to figure out how to balance my time with writing, reading about writing, reading other blogs about writing, and the rest of my life (cooking, homeschooling, parenting, being a good wife, etc.)!
But for now I am really enjoing the feeling of being inspired by writing again!


I signed up for PiBoIdMo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Venting..... Husbands, writing, hunting, respect
Needing to VENT! My husband is...... well.... he's really a nice guy. I love him... but he really has no idea how often he comes to me when I"m in the middle of something and expects me to just drop everything because he's got something he wants me to do. **!!**
Ugh. And he doesn't see it. This time (and a lot of times in the past) it's my writing. I FINALLY put time for writing on my schedule for me this past Saturday.... so what happens? After he spends FIVE days, all day, hunting this month, he comes home early on Saturday because my son got a deer that morning (very proud btw) and thinks I should drop everything to spend time with him and do things he's behind in. I said no. Politely. (honestly...okay...maybe with slight irritation in my voice) But I tried to be really polite and explain that I was behind in accomplishing my necessary tasks for the day and needed to do that before doing some things I really was looking forward to doing and I needed to do those things in the daytime (I just function better at tasks and at writing in the daytime) and that we could talk later in the evening. He is still holding this over my head because something came up this morning that we didn't do together which he asked about two weeks ago. He's trying to say the only reason it didn't get done is because I couldn't make him a priority on Saturday. UGH!!!! Of course, he forgets that I reminded him twice and told him I had started working on that several days after he asked. And of course, it was only my fault that I wasn't available Saturday. ??? Is it me or is it men that don't seem to realize that hunting is optional and if you have something you seriously need or want to get done maybe you shouldn't spend 11-12 hours in the woods 4 days in a row?

I did, however, before he even got home today, manage to finally post a bit that I had written up the other day....did some revision last night and posted today at my blog on Wordpress.

Anyway.... I'm just frustrated.  I always felt that when I worked in the public schools, he treated what I did with respect and understood that if I had things to work on at home, that's what I had to do and he respected it.  But when it comes to my writing.... nope.  He says he supports it.... SAYS he wants me to..... SAYS I deserve to do what I want..... but his actions.  Nope.

Oh....and will you help me know what to read?
So if you were a new aspiring writer, what books (for kids) would you read to catch yourself up on the modern hits so to speak? I'm not sure of the age group I want... but since I have a toddler, let's start with picture books and the early chapter books. And if you really are into the older chapter books and young adult books, send title my way for those too! In other words, what are the really good current kid's books and YA books I should know about?

Looking for children's author's blogs....
So the writer's bug has bit me again.... and I've been blogging much more on my wordpress site than I do on here.

I just don't get much following on here and I like getting feedback on wordpress.

And to feed my knowledge and ignite my imagination I like following children's author's blogs... so I'm trying to find them and am having a hard time. I have some friends that are authors on here. I'm hoping some of them will see this post and let me know of other writers that may have blogs on here or on other blog sites. I'm hoping to join SCBWI again soon. I haven't really written anything for a manuscript yet... the bug just bit me a week or two ago... but I do have some thoughts written down and am getting ready to dust off the old manuscripts and things I've kept once I get enough time to open that cupboard. I think it will happen soon. I've cleared some space on my desk and am working on freeing up a little bit of time in the day. It won't be much... but some is better than none!

Hope you are all well!

So I looked up the cost of SCBWI last night ..... $85

I'm trying to determine if it's worth it. I haven't been a member for at least 4 years :( I haven't written anything but a few blog posts in that time. Not one piece of fiction or non fiction other than my ramblings on here and my other blog... which doesn't add up to much at all in 4 years time. I'm really wanting to get back into writing but am struggling with how to find the time, how to organize and really accomplish anything. I'm wondering if the membership would motivate me? Maybe the forums would offer ideas how to make it work... or will it frustrate me all the more??? I'm so frustrated as it is. I can barely give myself time to exercise or even do some reading here and there let alone write. But maybe I just need to find a way to force myself into it.

In other news.... my friend remains depressed and I remain someone she can sometimes talk to.... but it's overwhelming much of the time. I'm trying to be non-judgemental and trying to be positive for her and just listen... but it is not the easiest thing for me.

My daughter is home from college for the weekend :) I love seeing her.... but boy do she and I knock heads sometimes... lol... right now she's playing piano and I'm lavishing the moment.

I have no idea what to do for a friend....

Well, I know I can listen.

But how do I help her? Or where else can she seek help she needs?
I come here because I know no one really knows me here and she has confided in me and I'm not really to tell anyone. She's pregnant. She doesn't want to be pregnant. (Okay, if you're not Christian or if for whatever reason abortion leaped to your mind here...stop.... it's NOT an option.)

She already has three kids.
She knew years ago (her youngest is 7) that she didn't want any more kids. She was ready to move on with her life.... her kids are getting older. She likes having some extra time. She had plans. (sounds like me 4 years ago...) There are really sooooooo many things jumbled up inside of this issue. But the bottom line is she's severely depressed and I'm really worried about her. She is afraid she will be unable to love this child and will resent him or her.

I hold no judgment against her at all. I just want to help. Right now all I can do is listen and assure her that I'm not judging and that I do understand where she's coming from. But how can I assure her? If anyone has any experience here and wants to share, I'd LOVE to hear it....

Wondering how to keep up...
It's been ages since I have been on here. Most of you have probably forgotten me.

I feel as a tumbleweed blowing around from object ot object in life. So much to do, so little time and I don't really want to do much of any of it.

Today is the day my biological mother passed from this earth 11 years ago. She was a sad woman. Loving, but sad. She never raised me but I developed a bit of a relationship with her later in life. She suffered from bipolar depression and had been abused as a child so she struggled with many demons. I pray she has found peace with our Lord.

My husband is angry with me. I leapt into judgement yesterday morning... and attempted to control. A habit of mine. I am trying to break it but it is a constant struggle. My motivations are pure... I love him... I'm concerned and worried, but it's mixed with anger from problems of many years and it comes out as judgement. It's the first that I've really realized quickly what I was doing and apologized earnestly... he obviosuly hasn't forgiven me yet regardless of me being very apologetic and attempts at affection ever since. He doesn't say much at all. I tried to give him a hug in the car as he was leaving yesterday afternoon for work and he literally started pulling away in the car while my arms were still around him. :(

We are trying our hand at the Paleo Diet. It's not really a diet... it's a change of eating habits... getting away from processed foods and sticking to quality meats, vegetables and fruit. This is good. He has lost weight... 16 pounds so far this past month. I lost a couple but that's not my goal... my weight is good. But I do have more energy and just feel better overall... less digestive problems, etc.

Well, that's enough for today. I hope I can keep up with this. I love writing here. I love writing. But finding the time is a struggle. I should make it a priority. I really don't have any priorities that are for myself.

Thomas, English & History, and Lent...
Those are the four things taking up space in my brain today: Thomas, History, English & Lent

Thomas is the train. I am going to attempt (with the help of a wonderful neighbor) to make a queen size quilt for my toddler's bed. "Queen size?" you ask. Yes, well I didn't want to go out and buy a brand new bed or lose the potential guest bed that we have. So yes, he looks quite small in that bed - which is a good thing as he is growing and this makes him stay smaller in my mind ;)

History & English go together. Or they might be seperate. I'm not sure yet.
It's time to start thinking curriculum for next year already. I start now because it takes me forever to make a decision. This year all I really need to decide on is high school classes for my oldest son, though I can't seem to resist looking at classic book lists and preschool fun things for my toddler.... I know there's no need for anything formal yet - but he is progressing so far already without making much effort that I can't resist at least wanting to buy some fun games and books!

For my older son, I already have math and science figured out. It's history and english that are the mindbenders. First, because he's not really interested in them so I want to not only challenge and teach him something but I'd like to make it interesting or at least not as 'boring' as he usually finds these subjects. There are combined curriculums that take historical fiction and wrap them into a literature and history course. Those ar tempting other than to pick that curriculum you need to go with the text and the books they select and not always do I think their book choices are the best. I've actually debated on forming my OWN curriculum for history by somehow selecting about 200-300 or so 'facts' about American history and making up a list of questions and sources he is to use throughout the course of the year to find the answers to these questions. In the meantime, he would have to check with me the accuracy of what he finds and study them throughout the year to take a test on about half of those (of which I randomly choose which ones to test him on). Obviously these wouldn't all be things like who was the first president? But things he would really have to read something to find the answer to or really commit some things to memory for the test. I'm thinking this would really make him learn the material vs. just reading a chapter at a time from a text, answering some questions in an essay or a test and then moving on and forgetting most of what he covered. The biggest problem with that is me coming up with the material and source list for him to use. I'm thinking of putting some polls out there to the public (here) and friends to see what facts or information they think should be included. What do you think? Good idea or bad?

For English I'm thinking maybe pick a 10th or 11th grade literature anthology that goes with a curriculum and just have him do half this year and half the next. That way he'll get in the literary vocabulary and get a good introduction to answering questions about literature in the manner a text would teach it but also have enough time to read further books of fiction, historical fiction involving American history that I select and some biographies too. Then I can throw in some SAT vocabulary, a little grammar and still have room for a good writing program of some sort (need to pick that one too!).

As for Lent, it is approaching. I know, my non-orthodox friends are scratching their heads and thinking "What...didn't it already start?" No. In Orthodoxy, we still follow the old calendar and the timing of Pascha (the traditional word vs. Easter which is a western christianity term) is still determined according to the cylce of the moon and the Jewish Passover. This is actually our fast - free week. Next week is a 'normal week (fasting only on Wed and Friday) and then we have one week of abstaining only from meat products and then, on March 18th (a Monday not Wednesday like the Catholic Church) Lent begins and we follow a strict fast. Every year is different for us according to our needs but a traditional fast means abstaining from all animal products (meat, eggs, dairy, etc.) olive oil and wine thoughout all of Lent...with a few exceptions on oil and wine on a few select days. Naturally pregnent women or nursing mothers and small children are not expected to follow this. Which is why it's different for us every year. I'm not nursing anymore but we do have a 2 year old (who will be 3 soon!) to consider. So I'm not sure exactly how strict all of us will be. I do plan on eating salmon at least once a week and we are allowed spineless seafoods though I've never been one to think eating lobster or crab should be done during the fast...but remember, Orthodox Christianity was formed in 33 AD...and at that time those foods were not considered the delicacy they are today.

Oh well... I think that's enough for one day! Wow...that's quite a bit of unrelated topics all put together isn't it! Well, that's my brain for you! Have a delightful day! And if you have any suggestions on how to approach that history idea or any other suggestions, I'm all ears!

Trying not to despair...prayers Please?
So my husand and I have not been getting along very well lately. We just are not seeing eye to eye. I am trying not to despair. I know we'll get through this. But I'm not sure how to get over this hump. I feel like everytime I approach him there's conflict. And that's whether I approach him about the underlying problem....or at least, my perspective of the underlying problem... he's defensive and doesn't want to talk about it and we end up feuding. If I approach him about anything else...same thing...he's defensive and says something rude or with some snyde tone and we end up fighting...
He's angry because he claims I'm giving him the silent treatment.
It's not the silent treatment.
I am sullen and .....I don't know... I don't feel like talking.... I answer questions and I do it politely....not with joy and enthusiasm which is apparently what he is looking for...but politely.
I'm just feeling low about it I guess. It's been at least 3 weeks like this. Of course, we certainly have been through worse.... but I"m not sure how to resolve it.
And I know I'm not giving much to go on...
But what I"m asking for is that my praying friends here say a little extra prayer for us today.
Thank you.

Getting There
This will be a quick post.... but better than none.

I'm doing better, or at least getting there.

It's not as hard to get out of bed and I'm finally getting things done. It's overwhelming though really. I am soooooo far behind. But I really made a dent in things over the last 3 days. Most of the homeschool work has been muddled through, graded and sorted. I actually have my sons lesson plans for next week done and didn't even have to think about them today. I am cooking better again and we are doing our green smoothies most every day. I saw the homeopath last Thursday and am eagerly awaiting a remedy that should arrive in the mail soon.

So I'm getting there.... but am still so sad sometimes. So incredibly sad.

But right now I have a toddler who should be eating and then sleeping pushing a chair around the kitchen and needs some attention!

Hope everyone's well!


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